No, not being a mom doesn't make me any less human – RB

No, not being a mom doesn’t make me less human – RB

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makes it less human – RB

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No, not being a mom doesn’t make me less human – RB

Yes, it is a risk, having children is always a risk, both natural and adopted, but it is more risky not to have them. Something is missing from a man and a woman who do not develop paternity and motherhood

Extrapolating a few sentences from a much broader, deeper and meaningful speech can be dangerous, because the risk is to dwell only on the words that affect us directly. This is what happened to me, and to the whole web, after the speech of Pope Francis held in occasion of the general audience.

Adoption has been talked about as a gesture of unconditional love on the part of all those people who choose, with their hearts, to become parents. But there was also talk of motherhood and paternity and how the absence of this role in people’s lives would determine their fullness.

Amplitude, completeness, intensity: these are the words that I inevitably associate with the term fullness and that refer me to my life and to all the experiences that, for better or for worse, have led me to be the woman I am. Yet, following the logic of the things said, I would be missing a fundamental piece to feel complete, that of motherhood.

Whether it is the fault of the times, which have played a fundamental role, of life that has put me in front of ever new challenges that I have consciously decided to accept or of a personal choice , which is entirely my right to be such, I am not a mother . But I am proudly a daughter and as such I recognize and understand the value of parenting.

Of course, I can’t say I know what it’s like to wake up in the middle of the night to look after a child, nor put their needs ahead of mine. But I saw my mother do it yesterday and today, and it would be enough for me to just look at our relationship, that eternal and immortal bond, to give a sense of fullness to my life. But maybe this is not enough ?

The answer is no if we extrapolate another significant piece of that speech that for days populated the social network feeds, sparking controversy, anger and disappointment , and it still echoes right here in my head today.

Many couples don’t have children because they don’t want to, but they have cats and dogs that take the place of children. This denial of motherhood and fatherhood diminishes you, takes away humanity, civilization becomes older and without humanity because the richness of fatherhood and motherhood is lost. And the country that has no children suffers

Well, I recently realized that according to these words I would be devoid of humanity , or in any case I’m at risk of losing it forever. And let’s face it, it’s not quite the most idyllic of prospects. But unlike the others, those who expressed dissent, these words did not make me feel minor of someone else, of the mothers and fathers of the world.

They did not do it because if I had lost my humanity I would not be able to explain everything I am and have been. I could not find a meaning to the love I gave and received , to the places of the world I have explored, of the cultures I have studied, of the friends who are by my side, in the presence of my partner. And to that furry puppy that I lost months ago, but who still cry and dream today, because he didn’t take the place of the children I don’t have, but he taught me what it means to love, and to be loved, unconditionally e. And I must say that all this is enough for me to feel that sense of completeness within me.

I don’t know if I can say the same about all the people I’ve met. The selfish and narcissistic ones, the ones who put their needs before anything else. Those frustrated and angry with the whole world. And some of these were just mothers and fathers.

So no, not being a mother doesn’t make me any less human. The desire for parenthood does not necessarily have to concern all human beings. Yet the value that is given to this is still high, because we are children of a cultural heritage that exists and still persists today. But it would be interesting to remind us that there was a time, not too far away, during which children were more of a necessity what a choice. Today, however, that same choice suffers the strong social pressure that we find in these words and in those of many others. But it is always a matter of choice and regardless of what the response will be, this will not deprive us of our humanity.